THE 10 IMMUTABLE LAWS OF PARENTING

This is a fantastic example of multitasking. Just remember: there are no dishwasher-safe babies...at least none that I am aware of.

This is a fantastic example of multitasking. Just remember: there are no dishwasher-safe babies…at least none that I am aware of.

We’ve all heard of the 48 Laws Of Power…now we have the 10 Laws Of Parenting.

1. The term “multitasking” has its roots from parents simultaneously doing 5 things at once. A real power lunch is when you hold a Hot Pocket in one hand while changing a dirty diaper with the other hand.

2. No matter how many lovely pictures you put of you and your child on Facebook, at the end of the day we picture you covered in drool and vomit just like the rest of us parents.

3. When taking pictures of your children, your odds of getting a decent picture depends entirely on how many times you can press the shutter button in a row.

4. It doesn’t matter how many toys you set in front of your infant, because they will always gravitate toward the single thing near them that ISN’T a toy.

5. Sleep is overrated. So is having discretionary income.

6. Sleep schedules for infants are overrated. They will ultimately fall asleep when they feel like it…like it or not.

7. Eventually, you will find yourself singing along to the music on kids’ shows, and/or you will randomly find the songs popping up in your head when you’re at work.

8. Work is, ironically enough, the only place where you can relax now.

9. When feeding your child, you will always get more food on their clothes and the floor than in their stomach.

10. Father may know best, but Mother is always right.

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