If, back in N.W.A’s heyday, you would have told me that Eazy-E would one day be (posthumously) voted into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame, I would have laughed in your face. For one thing, the Rock HOF didn’t exist back then, as it opened in 1995. Secondly, Eazy-E and N.W.A. are about as “rock and roll” as Donald Trump is a champion of diversity rights. Not only is N.W.A. a rap group, but I’m pretty sure Dr. Dre (the group’s producer/rapper) never even sampled a guitar when he was with N.W.A. Now, I was and still remain a N.W.A. fan. I can still, as a middle aged white dude, rap Ice Cube’s entire first verse on Gangsta Gangsta from memory. Then again, I can still do a lot of things I probably shouldn’t.
Regardless, since the induction parameters for the Rock HOF have been obviously loosened, I would like to nominate next year’s inductee:
I introduce to you the common Petoskey Stone. Not only is this a rock, but it is also a fossil! Which means, I’m guessing, that it satisfies the HOF age requirement. It is Michigan’s state rock, and we all know how much Michigan and rock are synonymous. No, not crack cocaine, I’m talking about Detroit Rock Fucking City.
When reached for comment, a representative of the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame said:
“I think putting actual rocks in the Rock Hall Of Fame is a brilliant game-changer! As you know, we are running out of musical artists that play traditional rock and roll to induct, so we might as well start inducting rappers and rocks. Pete Rock, Kid Rock, and Chubb Rock are actually on the 2016 shortlist.”