In what has to be the the least surprising news in sports arena naming, the new arena slated to be built for the Detroit Red Wings will officially be the “Little Caesars Arena”. The Ilitch family have also announced these arena-related developments:
-Instead of throwing octopi onto the ice, the new tradition will be throwing Crazy Bread.
-Just like at all Little Caesars restaurants, pizza will only be $5. Unfortunately, that will be per slice, not per pizza.
-There will be a new Little Caesars mascot for each game. If you are a John Belushi look-alike who has a toga, feel free to email firstname.lastname@example.org .
-The luxury boxes will be called the Hot N’ Ready Boxes. Many laughs will be had over the sexual connotations.
-The People Mover will now be called the Caesar Mover.
-The inaugural season at Little Caesars Arena will be just like the experience one gets eating a Little Caesars pizza: it might look good at the beginning, but it will probably leave you with an upset stomach at the end.