Stupid things that show up in my Facebook newsfeed, part 2

.trump

We begin with this delightful post-modernist nightmare of a tanktop.

Who is “American AF-AAF Nation”, anyway? American As Fuck – As As Fuck Nation? What the fuck, man?

Anyway, this is white trash alpha male fashion, that will accessorize nicely with all the other tryhard fashion gear in your collection. I mean, a picture of Donald Trump holding an AR (with what must be the longest noise suppressor I’ve ever seen) standing on top of a goddamn TANK, with bald eagles, explosions, and shit in the background, really is American as fuck.

I asked if they had this same design in toilet paper, but I’ve yet to receive a response.

kohls

Oh, those stupid Dads! They never do use maps, do they?

Well, that’s because most Dads have access to GPS, you retail store retards! There hasn’t been a dad who used a straight-up paper map ever since Chevy Chase was chasing Christie Brinkley around in “National Lampoon’s Family Vacation”.

In fact, I can think of only ONE reason a dad would need a map: A store map of Kohl’s, for when the wife is shopping and the husband has to figure out where the hell she is, since the store layout was apparently designed by architects who were smoking crack.

hillary

Good ol’ Hillary. Always quick to throw out a soundbite, always slow to throw out supporting links backing up her soundbites. I mean, how does one even verify this? To my knowledge, it is illegal for landlords to ask one’s sexual orientation on housing applications. Since most senior housing is federally subsidized, I’m guessing it’s SUPER illegal to do so.

Maybe Hillary tried to get a low-key condo with Huma Abedin, and she thinks they discriminated against her because they were lesbians! Gee, why would they think THAT?

nra

The NRA is always good for social media hilarity and hypocrisy. The fact that the NRA would complain about citizens being put on government watchlists, when they have an anti-immigrant platform as subtle as the barrel on a .50 cal Desert Eagle pistol, is laughable.

“Sure, put all the Muslims on a watchlist! Yes, even the ones who are U.S. citizens. We can’t tell which one of those towelhead terrorists are gonna blow something up next!

Wait…don’t put US on a government watchlist! We are white Christian males, we are the LEAST LIKELY group of people to commit terrorist acts in the U.S.!”

Untitled

Which brings us to Led Zeppelin. They are “innocent”, huh? What makes you say that? The court ruling doesn’t mean that they are innocent, it simply means that a jury ruled that a song wasn’t plagiarized. This is civil court, not a criminal proceeding, you blundering dolts.

 

 

 

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