All That Remains (after crowdfunding)

All That Remains, the fairly popular and occasionally controversial metal band from Connecticut, is now following in every other band’s footsteps by announcing a crowdfunding program, through Pledge Music, to finance a new album. Regardless of how you feel about the crowdfunding trend (especially for a band already as popular as ATR), you have to give them some credit for creativity. Here are some of the delightful things you can get for your non tax-deductible donation to a metal band:

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$50 gets you an ATR embossed disposable camera, “filled with pictures taken personally by the band…”. A camera that cost a couple of bucks wholesale, filled with pictures of Phil Labonte at the gun range? Naw, why bother? He’s happy to post those pics for free to you every day on Facebook and Twitter!

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250 dollars gets you a Skype political debate with Phil! He’s not the most informed, but he is certainly opinionated, as he is one of the few outspoken conservative frontmen in a liberal-leaning metal scene. If discussing how much you love the United States and the 2nd Amendment, while hating the U.S. government and mainstream media sounds exciting to you, then this is right up your alley.

Apparently this is a popular option, as it has already sold out…

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Or that $250 can get you a personal training session with Mike Martin and Aaron “Bubble” Patrick! This is actually reasonable, since you get to meet two of the band members. But I highly doubt you will learn any relevant workout tips, except maybe how to do a 360-degree guitar swing.

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$2,000 gets you a lifetime VIP pass! Before you get too excited, keep in mind that ATR expects you to still buy the actual concert ticket, as this pass is just to go backstage and hang out for a few minutes or something. ATR has been a band for almost 20 years at this point, and they sure as hell aren’t going to become the Rolling Stones of metalcore. If tickets average around $30 per show, you would have to go to almost 70 shows just to recoup the $2,000. Needless to say, this is a blatantly overpriced option, and it will in all likelihood be worthless in a few years when ATR inevitably breaks up.

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And here is the highest priced option. $75,000 (no, that isn’t a typo) gets you your own All That Remains unplugged acoustic show! I laughed at the “technical specifications required and are not included” disclaimer. For $75K you can’t include a cheap stage riser and PA system? It’s an acoustic show, how much sound reinforcement and how many staging requirements do you need?

And $75K is just WAY too much. Keep in mind that ATR doesn’t even gross $75K on an average show. In fact, $75K would probably be around what the band earns after expenses on a regional tour.

Good luck to ATR on their latest venture, though. I’d gladly donate some money if they’d go back to the heavy sound they had on their first two albums…but I don’t think the guys would go for that.

You can see their crowdfunding campaign here:

http://www.pledgemusic.com/projects/allthatremains

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