I got a couple calls from a number with an 844 area code today. Now, whenever I get calls from numbers I don’t recognize, I always screen them, with the assumption that if it is someone important, they will leave me a message. Now, this caller left me a message all right, but not the one I would have expected.

To paraphrase (I erased it and don’t remember exactly how it went): “This is a call for (name computer generated, which was my last name and an unintelligible first name that wasn’t mine, and is now redacted for my anonymity) to inform you that if you do not call us back, we will pursue this matter further in the legal system and issue you a summons to court.”

Well, that was interesting. I figured it wasn’t an actual attorney, since it is illegal for attorneys to threaten lawsuits on messages. And I figured it wasn’t an actual debt collector, since I don’t have any outstanding debts. But who the hell are these fruitcakes? I decided to do some online searching:

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The name of the company is Elite Check Solutions, and are possibly based in Florida. Apparently, they either data mine or buy personal info from people that do, and then send out automated messages claiming that people owe them money, in hopes that people will be intimidated or naive enough to pay them.

Of course, there isn’t much information about them online…except for this article that you are reading! Thanks to the power of search engine optimization, in about a month or so, when someone searches for “Elite Check Solutions” online, this article should be front and center in the search. You want to play pretend lawyers, Elite Check Solutions? Go ahead and sue me for pretend slander, you shameless vultures! That is, if you are still in business, since I’d imagine you will eventually be arrested for fraud or harassment.

If you get a number from 844-780-6738, 844-299-9339, or any other 844 number that sounds suspicious, then it is probably Elite Check Solutions. They have been attempting to scam people for the past few months now, so DO NOT talk to them if they call. If you do talk to them, then DO NOT PAY THEM ANYTHING, OR AGREE TO PAY THEM ANYTHING. They apparently make up debts under false pretenses, and they never did inform me what “debts” they were calling me for (which is also illegal for debt collectors). These calls are just the latest in a perpetual wave of scammers, and like I said, they will probably fall to the wayside soon enough.

Have you been called by Mediocre Debt Collecting Dipshits Elite Check Solutions? Leave me a comment about your experience.