rap

MUSIC REVIEW: Esham, “Trust No One”

Esham is the true king of underground rap. The Detroit rapper has been kicking the wicket shit for almost 30 (!) years now, starting with the release of “Boomin Words From Hell” in 1989. Since then, he has been setting trends in the rap game whether you have noticed or not. Esham has been highly influential with his production skills, especially with the heavy metal sampling on the Judgement Day albums, and the innovative dystopian soundscapes of the Natas albums.

Now it’s 2017, and Esham is still bringin it to us raw with the release of “Trust No One”, his latest single from his upcoming album Scribble. Weaving snaps and snares through synths and sound effects, he rattles off a list of people he doesn’t trust, from baby mamas to the president. The hook is catchy, and Esham even deviates from his usual blunt-force rapping to get creative on the mic with some different styles. It has that classic Esham sound: catchy enough to keep your head nodding, and creative enough to keep you interested.

To purchase the single, merch, or to find out more: https://www.acidrap.com/

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Trick Trick’s “No Fly Zone” expanded to include all airlines

 

To all my airlines and all my passengers, best say hi to yo boy Tricky. Welcome To Detroit!

To all my airlines and all my passengers, best say hi to yo boy Tricky. Welcome To Detroit!

After Rick Ross got ran out of Detroit this past week, due to Trick Trick’s proclaimed “No Fly Zone”, much has been said about how it is unfair to the local economy, and to the fans and promoters in Detroit who pay to see these rappers perform. This isn’ t the first time Tricky has enforced it, he punked out Styles P once, and Trick Daddy twice. Well, unfortunately for all airline commuters and drug dealing drone operators in the city, Trick Trick has now upgraded his No Fly Zone to include any aircraft in the Metro Detroit area. He released a statement:

“I’m tired of these pussy ass airlines makin all this money in MY city, and not sharing it with The Goon Squad. I don’t give a fuck if the airport is in Romulus, them muthafuckas need to come up off they money too. From now on, any airplane that I see fly over Detroit is gettin shot down with an RPG. Don’t let me see yo ass fly through my city without landing your aircraft, giving me some money, and posing for a selfie with yo boy. Then, after we commiserate, I shall allow you to fly back out of Detroit. Trick Trick, Goon Squad, 313 representin in this bitch!”

When reached for comment, American Airlines said, “We have not reached out to Christian “Trick Trick” Mathis as of yet, but rest assured we will come to some sort of agreement. We are used to the corruption in Detroit, and we keep a separate fund for just such occasions. We love the Motor City, and intend on continuing to do business there.”

Spirit Airlines could not be reached for comment, as any comment needs to be FOIA’d at an arbitrary airline fee of $100.

MUSIC REVIEW: Body Count, “Manslaughter”

 

body-count_orig

I should begin this review by saying that I am a longtime BC fan. I still have the Born Dead original release CD, and have fond memories of playing Doom while jamming out to the Violent Demise album. Well, just like that Windows NT operating system on my parents’ computer, things have changed a lot in the music industry over the past two decades. Ice-T, however, hasn’t changed a damn bit, and is unapologetically old school on “Manslaughter”.
The album title, according to Ice, is about “the slaughter of manhood”, or how men are unwilling and unable to be REAL men nowadays. This attitude sums up Body Count’s hypermasculine persona perfectly. They are completely over the top, but resonate in a way that you can definitely feel, much like what so-called gangsta rap was capable of doing in the 1980’s and 1990’s.
The album opens up with the first single “Talk Shit, Get Shot”, and is about exactly what you would guess it’s about. I highly recommend watching the video, if you haven’t already, it is as over the top as the song itself.
Other highlights include “Pop Bubble”, featuring Jamey from Hatebreed, which is another ferocious indictment on the sorry state of music nowadays, and which has some blistering Ernie C guitar solos; “Back To Rehab”, which updates their song “Street Lobotomy”;  the new version of Ice-T’s classic “99 Problems” (yes, Ice-T’s, NOT Jay-Z, know your history); and the cover of Suicidal Tendencies’ classic “Institutionalized”, which updates the original with hilarious verses about nagging wives, the outsourcing of customer service representatives, and self-righteous vegans.
Ice is as potent as ever on this album, and Ernie C. (underrated as ever) has some killer riffs. Juan and Vincent Price are locked in throughout the album, which makes for a super tight rhythm section. The production is superb, and makes this the sonically best BC album since Violent Demise, and arguably ever.
I recommend this to any Body Count fan, Ice-T fan, or fan of aggressive street music in general.

How to become an amazing songwriter in 5 minutes

Songwriting may seem like it’s hard, but believe me, it is a lot simpler than you might think. If you can deconstruct the rhyme structure of a Dr. Seuss book, you are well on your way! Here are some tips, by genre, to help you write the best lyrics possible:

 

I got lots of money: check. I got lots of women: check. I talk about how much I don't care about the haters, even though my lyrics make it painfully obvious that I do, in fact, care about them: CHECK. "OK guys, I think we got a hit!"

I got lots of money: check.
I got lots of women: check.
I talk about how much I don’t care about the haters, even though my lyrics make it painfully obvious that I do, in fact, care about them: CHECK.
“OK guys, I think we got a hit!”

 

METAL: The most important thing to is touch into the “pain inside”. This pain could stem from being picked on as a child, being an outcast, or having a contractor screw up the construction on your mansion. Once you have touched upon your inner victim, feel free to add other things, such as excerpts from science fiction books, the love of Satan, the hatred of God, and various “UGGGHHHH” and “AGGGHHHH”s to break up the lyrical monotony.

COUNTRY: Country music might seem simple, but it really is quite lyrical. These songwriters have mastered the usage of metaphors, especially for their trucks (“Truck Yeah, “What The Truck”, “I Don’t Give A Flying Truck”). Even though this is considered a family-friendly genre, feel free to add as many lyrics about drinking alcohol as possible. And always remember to sing about how much you love the U. S. of A., even though your blue-collar fans are the first ones to get screwed by Democrats and Republicans alike.

POP: Pop music subscribes to the school of “Keep It Simple, Stupid”, with a special emphasis on stupid. Go look in your child’s nursery rhyme book for added lyrical inspiration, and feel free to take bits and pieces of lyrics from other genres, since your music will most likely be ripping off other genres, too.

HARD ROCK: Sex, drugs, and rock + roll. Remember these three things, and you will do fine.

HARDCORE: The most important thing is to show love for your crew, which should have a catchy acronym such as DMS, FSU, or WTF. Your crew is your family, and should be sung about as much as possible. You should talk about how much you do for the scene, even if it is just renting out the local VFW hall once a month for you and your friends to put on poorly attended shows. Remember to remind your listeners that you will always catch them if they fall, but only in the figurative sense. And, maybe in the literal sense, if some jackass stumbles off of your stage riser.

INDIE / ALTERNATIVE: See “POP“, but instead of a children’s nursery rhyme book, look in a Chuck Klosterman book or at Pitchfork.com for added inspiration. Also, this genre has the added bonus of not requiring lyrics to rhyme, and it even encourages nonsensical lyrics.

ADULT CONTEMPORARY: What used to be derisively classified as “soft rock”, now has an ultra-cool name. The music and lyrics are still the same. Try to be as sincerely cheesy as possible, and picture yourself singing to a single woman in her 40’s who loves American Idol, Applebee’s, and romantic love songs. Then inject that awesomeness into your lyrics.

RAP / R + B: Nowadays, rap music and R + B are completely interchangeable, since rappers think they can sing as well as they rap, and r + b singers think they can rap as well as they sing. Actual skill is not important, and keeping it real is not important either. It doesn’t matter that you live in a studio apartment in the suburbs, so make sure you rap about living in a mansion, in the middle of the hood. While driving around a car that actual multi-millionaires can’t even get due to their rarity. Also, rap / sing about dealing drugs, your sexual conquests, haters, and make sure to write one song about how you’ve “changed” and aren’t the same person anymore. Hypocrisy is a very important part of this genre, so have fun with it!

With these tips, you will be writing musical hits in no time! Remember to upload your songs to YouTube, because once you get 1,000 hits on your video, you can start calling yourself a star. That’s how things work in the music industry nowadays, so live with it. And, pro tip: if a major label offers you a 360 deal, do a 180 and get the hell out of there.